Thursday, January 7, 2010

Crying a River

Lots has happened since the last post and unfortuanetely it's not what we had hoped. January 2 Ryan continued to develop more weakness on his right side and they did the MRI right away. We got the results within a few hours and were devastated to learn that it was the tumour progression that was causing the new symptoms. The difference in the December 21 to January 2 MRI's was significant and the biggest issue is that it's moved to his brains stem.

He was discharged from the hospital and we went home to figure out how to cope with the news. Tuesday we spent most of the day at the Tom Baker Cancer Center. Ryan's doctor had tears in his eyes when he told us that there's nothing else they can do for him now. That he has fought am amazing fight against this tumour for the past 12 and a half years, but now that it's entered his brain stem things could progress quickly.

It's now Thursday morning and I can't even remember what we're doing in the next hour. Ryan has been assessed by Home Care and now is on a waitlist for a hospice. It will be up to him whether he takes the bed when one comes up, but the doctor is strongly recommending he does. He then told him that if in a week he improves and can walk out of the hospice, he can come and punch him out. Ryan of course said - you're on!

Ryan has a cane to help him around because walking is getting more difficult. Stairs are the hardest for him, but he continues on with such determination, I am stunned at his strength.

Over the last week, the news has come fast and hasn't given us the time to adjust. We have cried pounds of tears and I feel like it could probably make a river. I don't know what to hope for at this point. That Ryan's end is near and he doesn't have to suffer any more physical challenges, or that it is far and we have him here longer.

We appreciate all of your love and support - we will continue to need it!