It is hard to describe the person Ryan was after having 3 serious seizures in a row. The best word that I can come up with is hollow. The nurse in the trauma area said that it was like the lights were on, but no one was home. How could my husband go from his big grinned self to that in a matter of two hours? But it happened.
The amazing part of it all is that yesterday morning when I went up to the hospital, I could tell right away that he was back. The smile he gave me when I walked in the door and the speed of his speech were telltale signs. The doctors will likely let him out today and we will bring him home to rest here. Then he will restart his radiotherapy treatments on Wednesday and go from there.
He will continue on the steroids to prevent future inflammation again, but it is a continued risk and one we now know much too well. To be honest, I feel much more scared now than I did when I ever heard those risks the first time.
The last few days have blurred into what seems like weeks and I can't believe that we are one week away from Christmas. Our family will be continuing to make some adjustments to life where we don't want Ryan left alone and where I will likely be driving him to his daily treatments so he never has to worry about not being able to say the words "call my wife" again.
Ryan's mom is still in town until things settle down a bit and my mom is flying in today to offer Talyn a constant through this all. I will continue to take deep breaths to keep my perspective on the today and continue to ask you all for your positive thoughts and prayers to help Ryan through the remainder of his treatments safely. He has done amazing things so far, so why can't he continue to be at the far end of the bell curve?