It is hard to describe the person Ryan was after having 3 serious seizures in a row. The best word that I can come up with is hollow. The nurse in the trauma area said that it was like the lights were on, but no one was home. How could my husband go from his big grinned self to that in a matter of two hours? But it happened.
The amazing part of it all is that yesterday morning when I went up to the hospital, I could tell right away that he was back. The smile he gave me when I walked in the door and the speed of his speech were telltale signs. The doctors will likely let him out today and we will bring him home to rest here. Then he will restart his radiotherapy treatments on Wednesday and go from there.
He will continue on the steroids to prevent future inflammation again, but it is a continued risk and one we now know much too well. To be honest, I feel much more scared now than I did when I ever heard those risks the first time.
The last few days have blurred into what seems like weeks and I can't believe that we are one week away from Christmas. Our family will be continuing to make some adjustments to life where we don't want Ryan left alone and where I will likely be driving him to his daily treatments so he never has to worry about not being able to say the words "call my wife" again.
Ryan's mom is still in town until things settle down a bit and my mom is flying in today to offer Talyn a constant through this all. I will continue to take deep breaths to keep my perspective on the today and continue to ask you all for your positive thoughts and prayers to help Ryan through the remainder of his treatments safely. He has done amazing things so far, so why can't he continue to be at the far end of the bell curve?
Tash - i have no idea how you make it through every day - we are thinking of you all and glad that both moms are there to help...please let us know when Ryan gets home...you are in our prayers...
ReplyDeletelots of love, Denise and Julius
Tasha, we're all following this closely and keeping your whole family in our prayers daily. Glad to hear things are going well.
ReplyDeleteDear Tasha,
ReplyDeleteWe have been traveling quite a bit lately but have not been too busy to pay brief visits to your blog site along the way. We read your December 14th and 16th posts and immediately increased the positive thoughts and energy that we are sending your way every day.
We also explored Global Calgary's website to find the news interview that you, Ryan and Tricia did recently. Seeing you on TV and hearing your voices has brought you even more to life for us than you have become through the written word. You both look wonderful to us! We hope the public's response to your news piece goes far beyond anyone's expectations.
It is interesting to read your blog account of what happened to Ryan alongside his own version. He expresses his terror from the inside, looking out; and you tell of your fears from the outside, looking in. It is a very powerful statement of how alone each of you felt when you seemed to have lost contact with one another. Now, together again with no guarantees, it is no wonder that you so urgently want others to understand that life is a gift to be cherished minute by minute.
We have to agree with you that Ryan has done "amazing things so far". So have you, Tasha. There is no reason that you cannot both continue to be "comeback kids" again and again. It is clear that you are courageous and inspirational people. May your strong, positive spirits bring you through all that lies ahead.
But "just for today", we wish you, Ryan and Talyn a full and satisfying Christmas season with family and friends.
Sincerely,
Louise and David