Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The sun will come out tomorrow!

Can you guess from the title that I went to see Annie last night? Tricia's grandma treated us to a night out in Calgary, to re-live Tricia's childhood of producing and directing the play for her block. Although we thought we knew the story pretty well, it gave us both a little reminder of something we can all matter what we're going through, just hang on till tomorrow.

For me the dark is my worst enemy. At night when I wake up to my thoughts or in the early morning hours before the sun comes out, it seems that my mind runs wild with 'what ifs'. At first when I wake up, for a moment I believe that life is perfect and normal and I breathe in a sigh of relief. But then I quickly remember what life is like these days and the anxiety sets in. I just need to make it through until the sun comes out and it literally feels like a much easier day. So that's what I focus on is one day at a time and the fact that I can't control what is happening right now, so I just have to do my best and hang on till tomorrow...come what may (is anyone else humming Annie right now?).

All in all though, we are in a much better place than we were even 3 weeks ago. My mom really helped us through a tough time and now Jo-Ann has moved in and we are getting her more setttled. Having someone here all of the time to help with everything is really the best relief I can get right now.

But, there are some other little angels in our life that have also helped brighten our days. The Powells bring us a delivery every week of organic dishes to help us get through the week with less cooking. It is so nice to open your fridge and see dinner just waiting for you to dish up! Some of our friends also just surprised us with a gift card to the Fairmont Hotels. Once Ryan's doctors give us the clearance to take a little trip, we plan to use this to recharge and relax. We have also been continuing to receive financial help for the Avastin treatment and get little surprises from unexpected acquaintanaces. More proof that people really are amazing.

We went for Ryan's check up yesterday and although he is experiencing his fair share of expected side effects, he continues to do really well. So well that they are slightly reducing his steroids over the next 2 weeks. This is a big relief to us all as they are creating some of the worst side effects. Ryan has his next MRI March 4 and then they will take another look at what's going on inside. From that scan, we hope they see a reduction in mass, so they can continue with the Avastin and decreasing the steroids.

So although we've seen our fair share of dark days, we have also experienced a huge upswing over the past few weeks. If you are having a dark day, just remember....the sun will come out, you better hang on til tomorrow, come what may! Sorry if you now have that in your head for the rest of the day, but maybe it's a good reminder that dark days are often followed by sun.

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