Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Parties, More Tears and Breaks of Sunshine

This past week has flown by. I am certainly still struggling with the news, but now have more "up" times than "down". The one question that keeps getting asked of me is "Do you feel strong?" and I am not feeling that way yet. I am moving in the right direction, but feel like my strength is still building. Proof of that is my body got the flu last night. I am in bed trying to rest it out and just made my way downstairs for some crackers and ginger ale.

Ryan is doing amazing. In the past week, his symptoms have remained the same. I almost worry about writing that since it might jinx it, but want to share the news. He is still on a waitlist for hospice, but we are hoping that he gets some more time at home first.

Mentally though he is even stronger than last week. One day after the news, he announced that he wanted to have a party to celebrate his life while he was still here. That alone, is amazing.

Our friends pulled together and made that happen for him in 48 hours! Friday night we had 60 close friends and family here to celebrate with him. We had a photographer to take photos so everyone would remember Ryan for who he is. And deep down, our hope is that we'll have this party ever year.

We had lots of family and friends fly in for the weekend and have been absorbed by love. But Monday we asked to have some time for just the three of us to spend together. I appreciate every morning that we wake up together and his body is warm and moving up and down from his breath.

Last week, our favorite photographer Michelle Wells came over to take some more amazing pictures for us. Check out her blog for some she posted

We also had Global over to the house yesterday and they showed a spot on Ryan last night. Even with what he's dealing with, he wants to share his story so that other people might feel better about their situations.

In the past 2 weeks, we've had lots of moments of absolute despair. But we've also been again blessed with some breaks of sunshine - Ryan and I have felt renewed love in our marriage and a connection that is so deep, friends and family have come to help us out where we need it and we have had some great moments as a family. Appreciate those around you and what you have - you never know what tomorrow might bring.


  1. wow , I feel so stong for you , as i type this i am a wife of a cancer patient as well , 3 good years , his is arare form of cancer... not knowing where we are going right now.... praying for you i think posative every day... in my thoughts !

  2. Dear Tasha,
    Thank you for finding the energy and time to post this latest blog entry. We are especially grateful for the link to Global TV's video spotlight on Ryan. Watching it is helping us to move us from disbelief and regret to acceptance and hope. We do not know how you are managing to have more "ups" than "downs" at this time.

    Thanks, too, for the link to Michelle Wells' site. Her latest pictures of your family really capture the love, peace and happiness that radiate from the three of you. You, Ryan and Talyn are awesome people.

    A candle of hope continues to burn here in our St. Andrews home. You yourselves are an inspirational light in our everyday lives.
    Sincere well-wishes,
    Louise and David

  3. Just looked at the photos Michelle took. I'm soooooo happy you had these taken. The one of Talyn in the hockey jersey - too special. All of them - incredible moments captured so beautifully. Sending all my loves and hugs.


  4. Tasha, I have very strong feelings of support for you at this very difficult time. I'm Chelsea's dad and Elias father in law. I know from their experience how difficult this time is for you both. I have read a post from Chelsea in Ryan's blog about being available to talk with you at any time if you feel you would want to and I know that may be of some value. Both of your are in my prayers.

  5. You continue to be in my thoughts and I am sending out the positive vibes.
    Carolyn (Day) Luhning