Friday, January 1, 2010

We need a whole lot of strength please

We were at the ER for most of the day yesterday because ryan developed some new issues over the past couple of days. He started his CCNU chemo on Tuesday night and we were bracing for fatigue and nausea, but not anything else. Wednesday he had a nap and when he woke up, another quadrant of his vision was gone. He now doesn't have any vision in the right upper or lower quadrants. This of course devastated us as we grasped to come up with some solution other than tumour growth.

New Year's Eve morning, he woke up and felt off. He went to get dressed and fell right over on his side. He also noticed new weakness on the right side of his body. We emailed his doctors and even though all of them were on holidays, one responded right away asking me to take him to the ER. We spent most of the day there yesterday. They did a CT scan to assess the size of the tumour and luckily it looked the same. But then after other testing, they are fairly certain Ryan had a stroke.

He was admitted last night and will be here for several days so that they can run more tests. These are to try and confirm that it was a stroke and then find the cause. The tumor board will be using these findings to see if he can continue with ccnu or not or whether any other changes are needed to the plan.

His mom arrived last night and we also have friends who came from edmonton for a couple of days so they are home with Talyn now. Thank goodness!

We are both feeling pretty weak emotionally right now. Everytime we get some challenging news it is shocking right away and then we somehow find the strength to accept it and move on. This last few weeks though, the news keeps coming and we are finding it challenging to continue to stay strong.

What would be helpful to us is continuing to think positive thoughts for Ryan and sending us positive thoughts to help give us some strength. This is the hardest time we have had to deal with yet and we just hope that things slow down and give us a chance to catch our breath.


  1. Tasha & Ryan
    Our thoughts & prayers are with you. Know that all you can do is to "be present" for yourself, each other and for Talyn.
    None of us can control so much of what goes on around us but all you can continue to be is who you are and have always been - full of love for all that has brought you to this new year - this new decade. You have had to experience so many of the "hard pieces" of life. Just be for today and let tomorrow be dealt with then and know that you are never alone.
    With much care,
    Jim & Donna

  2. Tasha, we're thinking of you guys and sending strength and positive thoughts every moment. Calum sends big hugs to Talyn. xo Caren and Paul

  3. Hang in there. We are thinking of you and will send tons of positive energy your way. Another challenge but you guys will get through this!!

    Nat Sweet

  4. Dear Tasha,
    David and I continue to follow your Journey (Part 2)and Ryan's Path wherever we are in the world. In late November and early December, we lit candles of hope for Ryan, you and Tricia in the churches of Rome and in some of the small villages on the shores of Lake Garda. We never allow ourselves to think negative thoughts about the personal battle that each of you is waging.

    Still, it is maddening for us to hear that this as the hardest time you have had to deal with yet. This latest news about Ryan seems terribly unfair to us. We are determined to channel the energy of our helplessness and anger into positive forces of power and healing. Here in St. Andrews we are lighting own candle of hope to remind us to keep sending energy and prayers your way. May you receive whatever graces and gifts you need to get you through this latest challenge, minute by minute of every day.
    Sincerely, Louise and David

  5. Dear Tasha - my fiance, young son and I are going through a similar situation, although we are at the beginning of our journey. We wish you all the power and strength that you may need to continue through yours and Ryan's battle.

    Kristine, Devin & William